Heard that they said that it's rainin men

But the offer that I make, it won't be made again

You don't have to write, you don't have to call

It's a one-time offer for nothing at all



And there's no red tape, I don't make it hard

You don't need cash money or a Master Card

I got easy terms, and a lay-away

But I need a quick decision, and I need it today



And if you find that you don't like my ways

Well, you can send me back in 30 days



Now have you ever seen a man with a guarantee?

Well you're lookin at him now, cause the man is me

And if you don't believe all the things I say

I'm certified 'prime' by the USDA



Now the name that I use is DJ Run

And I'm a fast-talkin slow-walkin number one

And if you don't believe all the words I say

Then you're a natural born fool who's got to be that way



I got a 50 rating and a 50 share

Every minute, every hour that I'm on the air

And when I come to town, I'm on a big marquee

It says (DJ Run) and me, D.M.C.



And if you find that you don't like my ways

Well, you can send me back in 30 days



A good job and lots of money might not be enough

And to satisfy your needs it may be rough

But I take some care and treat you nice

And if it ain't sufficient once, I cold work it out twice



And if you find that you don't like my ways

Well, you can send me back in 30 days



I'm gonna give you everything that you ever need

If you need a pint of blood, then I'll even bleed

If you're lookin for a car, I will buy you two

And if you're lookin for a pet, I'll buy a kangaroo



If you need a vacation, we can fly the world

And you'll know I'll never look at another girl

I'm a single-minded man, and my mind is set

You're the lady of the '80s that I'm gonna get



And if you find you don't like my ways

Well, you can send me back in 30 days