i read the news today oh, boy

About a lucky man who made the grade

And though the news was rather sad

Well i just had to laugh and

I saw the photograph



He blew his mind out in a car

He didn't notice that the lights had changed

A crowd of people stood and stared

They'd seen his face before,

Nobody was really sure if he was from the house of lords.



I saw a film today oh, boy

The english army had just won the war

A crowd of people turned away

But i just had a look

Having read the book,

I'd love to turn you on...





Woke up, fell out of bed,

Dragged a comb across my head

Found my way downstairs and drank a cup,

And looking up i noticed i was late.



Found my coat and grabbed my hat

Made the bus in seconds flat

Found my way upstairs and had a smoke,

Somebody spoke and i went into a dream



Ah





I read the news today oh boy

Four thousand holes in blackburn, lancashire

And though the holes were rather small

They had to count them all,

Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the albert hall.

I'd love to turn you on...