I'm one disaster after another

You shouldn't let me meet your Mother

Like poison I'm tasteless

I'll corrupt you inside

Press my flesh and you'll wish you had died



Chorus:

Why is my life such a Slapdash Affair?

Badly put together without due care

Examine it closely and it all falls apart

I'm a car-crash victim But I'm proud of my scars



My Hairstyle's a mess

I don't know how to dress

I don't know what I like, so I just usually guess

Who knows where I'm going?

Or where I have been?

Am I straight? Bi-Curious?

Or Queer, like the Queen?



I killed all my friends off but I never meant to, really

I just get excited and act a bit silly

When I really, truly like someone I hold my breath

And before I know it, 'oops'

And I've hugged them to death...



I did something good but it turned out bad

I tried to make you happy but I just made you sad

I say something right but it comes out all wrong

I'm trying to keep going but I'm not all that strong

I made something pretty but it all fell apart

When I get near the end I find myself at the start

I try my hardest to smile but something's in the way

There's something very wrong with myself today...