Advice to the Lovelorn

(John Fryer)

I'm Blue-eyes of Scunthorpe, I need some advice,

For I've been a bad girl (why was it so nice?),

I've no one to turn to in this modern age;

So all that is left is the Lonely Hearts Page,

And Miss Home, Home, Evelyn Home.

Dear Evelyn Home, I've a problem for you,

I've slept with my boyfriend (he slept with me too),

His parents found out and blamed it on me,

And completely ignore me when I go to tea,

Dear Miss Home, Home, Evelyn Home.

Should I say I'm sorry, not do it again,

Refrain from all romance and be home by ten?

My boy says, ``Don't do it, you might drive them to

Informing your parents, then what would you do?''

Dear Miss Home, Home, Evelyn Home.

Dear Blue-eyes of Scunthorpe, I can't understand

Why you and you only are taking a stand,

It takes two to go wrong, apportion the guilt;

Your boyfriend was in it, right up to the hilt,

Says Miss Home, Home, Evelyn Home.

Dear blue-eyes of Scunthorpe, hear what I must state,

For grief and contrition it's really too late,

Unless you get married as soon as you can,

You'll regret having had carnal knowledge of man,

O dear, sighs Miss Home, as she lays down her pen,

The troubles these young women have with their men;

It's sordid, immoral, and I really can't see

Why the hell all these things never happened to me,

filename[ EVLNHOME

play.exe DERRYDWN

BR

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