Sell us a president, agency man

Smiling Big Brother, stern father perhaps

Sell us a president, agency man

A gay smiling nothing we know never craps



Let's try California,

(Pay us first before we do it!)

We'll get a smilin' nazi

And march him right on through

Rent a baby

Kiss a baby

Ladies in for tea



And here's a bunch of speeches

We'll toss 'em in for free



Sell us a president, agency man

Smiling Big Brother, stern father perhaps

Sell us a president, agency man

A gay smiling nothing we know never craps



We'll sell him in the movies

On the tube throughout the year

We'll sell him by the buckets

To the Okies drinking beer

We'll teach him how to walk and talk

We'll putty up his chin

We'll print his picture everywhere

Of course the SCHMUCK will win



From the heart of old Death Valley

To the ruling of our land

A simple trick, you simple pigs

Just the way we planned