Now i'm not, i repeat not anyway a prude

But the sight of two people cavorting on stage

Doing what can only be termed a natural act

Is unless you wear a raincoat only good for a laugh



As a rule, i never smoke while on duty

It just isn't on do i make myself clear

Though at times if there nobody's looking i will

I mean, life's too short and if i didn't smoke i bet

What with the luck that i have

I'd probably die of warty and, that would be that



Who would have thought it was humanly possible

To mate an elephant with a kangaroo

Well as my dear old mother once said in a rage

"next thing you know they'll have pigs an the stage"



Whoever said blue skies were better than red

Must have been talking from out of his hat

I mean whose ever heard of a blue sky at night

Don't like waiting or suffocating

In over crowded tubes

But i like good wine with my dinner don't you

Yes we do


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