Miss Riley had a dog

She used to keep it in her back yard

And when the dog began to bark

All the neighbours began to shout

Then came a stormy night, Miss Riley let her dog out

And when the neighbours found him 'round

They put a gun down his mouth and shot him down

And he went: oooh wow, bow wow, oooh wow, bow wow

Miss Murphy had a cat, on her lap it sat

And once in a great big while

And once in a great big while

It looked like that Cheshire cat did smile

But one day it got so hot

That Cheshire cat had a blood clot

And she said: oooh meow meow, oooh meow meow

Then the dog met the cat

The dog was hot and the cat was met

Then came some sweaty dude

He put a board between the two

Then they couldn't get at it, got frustrated all about it

So they did the only thing you could do

They took the dude's sweat and shot it up between the two

And they said: oooh wow, bow wow meow, oooh wow, bow wow meow