[spoken]

8 March 1998

dear mr prime minister,

to be honest, im kind of disgusted with the state of this country and i am

holding you directly responsible.

ive got no diseases, no obvious birthmarks, im not black, im not female,

sure im jewish, but basically im a straight white male, and i still cant

understand why there is even a feather left for me to ruffle.

mr prime minister, im queasy every time i read the newspaper.

i read about the new flag the country is demanding and whether our emblem

should contain a southern cross or not and i cant believe its even worth

the discussion. i want to see a giant penis on our flag. i want it made of

velvet and encased in glitter.

i want a flag that is worthy of a solid burning.

i want to know why isnt our prime minister a homosexual? i was personally

more interested in whether or not paul keating grabbed the queens arse

than any of the issues that you seem to be tackling. mr prime minster, why

do you always wear black and grey? are you hiding something? are you

afraid of us?

i still cant believe there is a feather left for me to ruffle.

i want to know why there are american accents all over my television set.

as far as im concerned,