Well I got a bad liver and broken heart, yeah,

I drunk me a river since you tore me apart

And I don't have a drinking problem, 'cept when I can't get a drink

And I wish you'd a-known her, we were quite a pair,

She was sharp as a razor and soft as a prayer

So welcome to the continuing saga, she was my better half, and I was just a dog

And so here am I slumped, I've been chipped and I've been chumped on my stool

So buy this fool some spirits and libations, it's these railroad station bars

And all these conductors and porters, and I'm all out of quarters

And this epitaph is the aftermath, yeah I choose my path, hey, come on, Kath,

He's a lawyer, he ain't the one for ya

No, the moon ain't romantic, it's intimidating as hell,

And some guy's trying to sell me a watch

And so I'll meet you at the bottom of a bottle of bargain Scotch

I got me a bottle and a dream, it's so maudlin it seems,

You can name your poison, go on ahead and make some noise

I ain't sentimental, this ain't a purchase, it's a rental, and it's purgatory,

And hey, what's your story, well I don't even care

'Cause I got my own double-cross to bear



And I'll see your Red Label, and I'll raise you one more,

And you can pour me a cab, I just can't drink no more,

'Cause it don't douse the flames that are started by dames,

It ain't like asbestos

It don't do nothing but rest us assured,

And substantiate the rumors that you've heard