It might be great to have a kid that I could kick around

a little me to fill up with thoughts

A little me or he or she to fill up with my dreams

a way of saying life is not a loss

I'd keep the tyke away from school

and tutor him myself

keep him from the poison of the crowd

But then again pristine isolation

might not be the best idea

It's not good trying to immortalize yourself

Why stop at one, I might have ten, a regular TV brood

I'd breed a little liberal army in the woods

Just like these redneck lunatics

I see at the local bar

with their tribe of mutant inbred piglets with cloven hooves

I'd teach them how to plant a bomb, start a fire, play guitar

and if they catch a hunter, shoot him in the nuts

I'd try to be as progressive as I could possibly be

as long as I didn't have to try too much

Susie, Jesus, Bogart, Sam

Leslie, Jill and Jeff

Rita, Winny, Andy, Fran and Jet

Boris, Bono, Lucy, Ethel

Bunny, Reg and Tom

that's a lot of names to try not to forget

Carrier, Marlon, Mo and Steve

La Rue and Jerry Lee

Eggplant, Rufus, Dummy, Star and The Glob

I'd need a damn computer to keep track of all these names

I hope this baby thing don't go too far

Hey I hope it's true what my wife said to me

She says, baby, it's the Beginning of a Great Adventure

It might be fun to have a kid that I could kick around

create in my own image like a god

I'd raise my own pallbearers to carry me to my grave

and keep me company when I'm a wizened toothless clod

Some gibbering old fool sitting all alone

drooling on his shirt

some senile old fart playing in the dirt

It might be fun to have a kid I could pass something on to

something better than rage, pain, anger and hurt

I hope it's true what my wife said to me

She says Lou, it's the Beginning of a Great Adventure