I was sittin' on a stump

Down in New Orleans,

I was feelin' kinda low down,

Dirty and mean.

Along came a fella

And he didn't even ask.

He says, "I know of a woman

That can fix you up fast."

I didn't think twice,

I said like I should,

"Let's go find this lady

That can do me some good."

We walked across the river

On a sailin' spree

And we came to a door

Called one-oh-three.



I was just about ready

To give it a little knock

When out comes a fella

Who couldn't even walk.

He's linkin' and a-slinkin',

Couldn't stand on his feet,

And he moaned and he groaned

And he shuffled down the street.

Well, out of the door

There comes another man.

He wiggled and he wobbled,

He couldn't hardly stand.

He had this frightened

Look in his eyes,

Like he just fought a bear,

He was ready to die.



Well, I peeked through the key crack,

Comin' down the hall

Was a long-legged man

Who couldn't hardly crawl.

He muttered and he uttered

In broken French,

And he looked like he'd been through

A monkey wrench.



Well, by this time

I was a-scared to knock,

I was a-scared to move,

I's in a state of shock.

I hummed a little tune

And I shuffled my feet

And I started walkin' backwards

Down that broad street.

Well, I got to the corner,

I tried my best to smile.

I turned around the corner

And I ran a bloody mile.

Man, I wasn't runnin'

'Cause I was sick,

I was just a-runnin'

To get out of there quick.



Well, I tripped right along

And I'm a-wheezin' in my chest.

I musta run a mile

In a minute or less.

I