CAPTAIN HANLEY AND SWEET MAZIE

by Bob Coltman c 1973



Old Captain Hanley was wounded in the war

Come a-rapping, come a-tapping, come a-knocking on Mazie's door

His old peg leg didn't faze him none

Looked little Mazie over and he said to her, Hon:



I'm an old soldier

I'm a-gonna roll you soon as I can

I got teeth to keep my gold in

Whiskers on my soul

And I'm a-gonna roll you once

And then I'll roll you again



He drew out his hanger and he backed her to the wall

His beard was so prickly, it made her skin crawl

Now hold it, said Mazie, not so daggone fast

First you must answer some questions I'm a-gonna ask

Where is my needle and where is my thread

And what do I keep down at the foot of my bed

And how many stitches in this long nightgown

That's three you must answer if you want to roll me down



Needle's in the haystack, you've run out of thread

You keep your skimpies at the foot of your bed

And not too many stitches in your nightgown to tear

I'll roll you down if you just show me where



Now what is the thing that I most desire

And what is the thing that I do most require

And what is the thing that's both pointed and round

Answer me that if you want to roll me down



Now I've got the thing that you most do desire

And I've got the thing that you most do require

And pointed and round is here under my hand

I'll roll you down if you'll just tell me when



Well will you be careful and will you be true

Gentle my body and humor my rue

Be kind to my clothes as you rip them away

What, tell me what, will my dear mother say



You know I can't answer a one of those

To Hell with your mother, to Hell with your clothes

To Hell with your questions, I'll give you a kiss

And if that don't keep you quiet, I'll try some of this



Now old Captain Hanley had no more to say

He hauled on her nightie and he ripped it away

Took off his britches and his regimental hat

Ain't gonna tell you what happened after that.



note: son of Child #46 (NOTE: See also CAPWEDER)

Recorded by Coltman- Son of Child

@parody @courtship

filename[ CAPHANLY

SF

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