Get up early in the morning,

going to the store.

Post, Kellogs, General Mills?

It's the cereal war.

Fuckin' store never has the monsters and they
never get more.

Post, Kellogs, General Mills?

It's the cereal war.

I hope sexual chocolate is in stock,

it's got a condom in the box.

I'll try some cocoa puffs today.

What the fuck is Sonny anyway?

Some say Dino's are the best,

they've got more marshmallows than the rest.

There's not a lot of cocoa in cocoa crispies,

and always stay away from wheaties.

Now it's dinner time and I'm going back to the
store.

I had some Erkles, 'liked 'em a lot.

It's the cereal war.

I wish I were Calvin or Hobbes

and then I could try sugar bombs.

The soggies will never get Cap'n Crunch,

I guess I'll have Crunch Berries for lunch.

Breakfast cereals need to be sweet,

that's the only kind I'll eat.

Give me sugar not nuts and twigs!

Do I look like a fuckin' squirrel to you?