Cheer up, it might never happen

Drive-by shootings on the streets of Clapham

Jackboots booting right across the map

And daddy's gone 'a looking with his pistol packin' mama



And God didn't make the little green apples

With the Halloween grin and the shaving tackle

Another worrying thing for the grans to grapple

As the earth quakes, shakes and rolls and rattles on



CHORUS

And if the whole world is a stage

A kaleidoscope of lights and sound

You can take my Equity card away

And burn the theatre to the ground



Cheer up, it might never happen kid

Although I think it probably just did

The Christmas speech was a porno vid

A topless picture on the British quid

Jack and jill went off the cliff

Contract killed in a lovers' tiff

While Ben and Bill smoke a comic spliff

Tom and Jerry built to a moronic riff



CHORUS



Sack the actors and the clowns

Back to practice paper rounds

Sweeping leaves and walking dogs

Daily deeds and bob a jobs

Sitting babies salting snow

Helping ladies cross the road

Washing cars, recycling tins

Catching falling stars and things

Helping old folk corner shop

Little things that mean a lot

A fairytale-like end to violence

Through jumble sales and sponsored silence

Stop the world I wanna get back on

I want to learn to love the bomb

And have it tattooed across my gut

The immortal words cheer up

It might never happen to you kid

Although I think it probably just did

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