Once I got a splinter in the joint of my little toe

And a garter snake bit my knee by the bend of the little St. Joe

Honey that's Missouri, the land of the dust and the toad

It's a wonderful town, Chicken Road



Once I had a scorpion on the lobe of my good right ear

And I lived with my great-great grandma

Who could hear what she wanted to hear

Honey that's Missouri, the land where the sky overflows

It's a wonderful town, Chicken Road



Beasts of burden, nip at their hay

And a poolroom banjo playin' to the close of every day

Night so quiet, you could hear a mouse

Tippin' through the parlor of a boarding house



Once I got a sunburn on the back of my itchin' neck

Went for a ride in a Model-T and I died in a beautiful wreck

Honey that's Missouri, the land that the Lord never knowed

Yes, it's a wonderful town, Chicken Road