Chivalrous Shark



The most chivalrous fish of the ocean,

To ladies forbearing and mild,

Though his record be dark

Is the man-eating shark

Who will eat neither woman nor child.



He dines upon seamen and skippers,

And tourists his hunger assuage,

And a fresh cabin boy

Will inspire him with joy

If he's past the maturity age.



A doctor, a lawyer, a preacher,

He'll gobble one any fine day,

But the ladies, God bless 'em.

He'll only address 'em

Politely and go on his way.

l can readily cite you an instance

Where a lovely young lady of Breem,

Who was tender and sweet

And delicious to eat,

Fell into the bay with a scream.



She struggled and flounced in the water

And signaled in vain for her bark,

And she'd surely been drowned

If she hadn't been found

By a chivalrous man-eating shark.



He bowed in a manner most polished.

Thus soothing her impulses wild:

"Don't be frightened," he said,

I've been properly bred

And I eat neither woman nor child."



Then he proffered his fin and she took it-

Such a gallantry none can dispute-

While the passengers cheered

As the vessel they neared

And a broadside was fired in salute.



And they soon stood alongside the vessel,

When a life-saving dinghy was lowered

With the pick of the crew,

And her relatives too,

And the mate and the skipper aboard.



So they took her aboard in a jiffy

And the shark stood at attention the while,

Then he raised on his flipper

And ate up the skipper

And went on his way with a smile.



And this shows that the prince of the ocean,

To ladies forbearing and mild,

Though his record be dark,

Is the man-eating shark

Who will eat neither woman nor child



@animal

Reprinted in Song Fest by Dick and Beth Best

from Nautical Lays of a Landsman by Wallace Irwin

@fish @animal

Copyright 1904 Wallace Irwin

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