The holidays are over, you've gained twenty pounds

The cat's choking on tinsel, pine needles stalk the ground

There are no cards in the mailbox, just a stack of bills

Yes, the holidays are over and you are feeling ill



Have a happy Christmas hangover

It's the most miserable time of the year

The eggnog's made you fat, the party is over

'Cept for your wacky uncle who is still drinking your beer



Turkey's great on Christmas but after a whole month

Of turkey pie and stew you start to dread lunch

Breakfast is more frightening for all there is to eat

Is fourteen Christmas cakes and a bag of cranberries



Have a happy Christmas hangover

It's the most miserable time of the year

Your uncle's in the bathroom and granny's on the sofa

And you start to wish that they'd just disappear



You ate too many liquor-filled chocolates

Got no money left in your pockets

But at least you got lots of

Ugly sweaters and bow ties and socks



You're skin is pale and pasty, your energy is spent

Along with all the money you need to pay the rent

The children are all crying 'cuz they've broken all their toys

Is this misery worth one day of joy?



Have a happy Christmas hangover

It's the most miserable time of the year

Your uncle has passed out on granny on the sofa

And you start to wish that you could disappear