Hey kid, why the long face

Is it cuz santa clause is flying right over your place

You've been a bad kid all year

So quit you snivellin' sucker now and mop up them tears

You don't deserve a damn thing

You're not even cute and your attitude stinks

It must suck to be you

Nobody likes you so what can you do

You think you got problems kid, you think you got strife

But come each december do you fear for your life

Oh well, i'm your turkey, baby, so your troubles are small

Now i'm stuffed on your table, i'm a tasty butterball



Cuz i've got the christmas turkey blues

If you got your necked ripped out then you'd have them too

Cuz i've got the christmas turkey blues

You chase me and waste and baste me and taste me and drown me in gravy too

Let's take a walk! gobble, gobble baby!



You sir, you look like heck

Didn't you get your christmas bonus cheque

Or maybe your woman left you

Ripped your heart right out of your chest and spat on it too

Is that why you're reeking of gin

You look disheveled and there's drool on your chin

You thought that this love would last

But she said, "merry christmas, baby" and she booted your ass

Well that's tough for you mister, too bad about your ordeal

How about getting stuffed in the wintertime, see how you feel

I don't get to yank no bones or make me a wish

It won't be long 'til i'm just some scraps on your dish



Cuz i've got the christmas turkey blues

If your butt was stuffed and roasted then you'd have then too

I've got the christmas turkey blues

You chase me and waste and baste me and taste me and drown me in gravy too



Cuz i've got the christmas turkey blues

Oh, you know what it's like having the christmas turkey blues, baby?

I tell you -- hey, what are you doing with that axe?

Oh no, oh no, oh no, baby, no!

Well, now that i'm here on your plate, what do you want?

You want some white meat or some dark meat, leg, breast, or thigh?

Hey, you ought to see my giblet you know

Oh, oh, oh!

Cuz i've got the christmas turkey blues

Wouldn't you just rather have some ham, or how about some chicken...