i surrender to childhood insecurities clawing at walls of fire setting myself aflame from my forgotten youth navigating turbulent waters stifled by loss what was once is no more crawling through the rubble screaming towards the old sent to die as a number killing without control lost in the wall lost in the fire scribble becomes flame crayons become weapons tools once toys a soldier is born of the fire necessity constrains a war with youth forgotten childhood crawling through the rubble screaming towards the old sent to die as a number killing without control for so long I have sat alone feeding on my own kind being my own god being my own devil I was more than a child but less than a human I fed myself I taught myself but it was all a dream as I've destroyed myself