Doug doesn't call anymore

He's wearing a ring that inhibits his dialing

And this time he really seems sure

All calm and content

All that drooling and smiling

Everyone knows that a romance is great

(Cupid take aim at the couple ascending)

But everyone knows that the tree isn't straight

If the roots were all formed

With habitual bending



Doug doesn't call anymore

He fell into love but he couldn't stop falling

And maybe he stopped keeping score

Maybe he's stubborn or maybe he's stalling

And everyone follows a poetic theme

(And the fork of the path that is usually taken)

But everyone knows at the end of a dream

There's a hell of chance that you'll finally awaken



Tie the knot, Doug

Tie it tighter

Seal the package with a kiss

Open wide, Doug

Open wider

Something might still come from this



Doug in step

Doug inspired

Doug uncovered

Doug unstaged

Doug released

Doug retired

Doug enlightened

Doug engaged



Doug doesn't call anymore

Mr. and Mrs., a powerful mixture

And now that he's safe and secure

He doesn't need anyone clouding the picture and

Everyone knows that behind a great man

There's a women of strength

With a great constitution

But everyone knows it's an unnatural plan

To be locked up inside of an old institution



Tie the knot, Doug

Tie it tighter

Pay the rabbi, pay the priest

See the sights, Doug

See the spider

Mates for life then starts to feast



Doug revealed

Doug remembered

Doug undaunted

Doug uncaged

Doug de-clawed

Doug dismembered

Doug encumbered

Doug engaged



Here's a toast to wedded bliss

Her