BAR:

As o'er our penny roll we sing,

It is not reprehensive

To think what joys our wealth would bring

Were we disposed to do the thing

Upon a scale extensive.

There's rich mock-turtle--thick and clear--



RUD. (confidentially):

Perhaps we'll have it once a year!



BAR. (delighted):

You are an open-handed dear!



RUD:

Though, mind you, it's expensive.



BAR:

No doubt it is expensive.



BOTH:

How fleeting are the glutton's joys!

With fish and fowl he lightly toys,



RUD:

And pays for such expensive tricks

Sometimes as much as two-and-six!



BAR:

As two-and-six?



RUD:

As two-and-six--



BOTH:

Sometimes as much as two-and-six!



BAR:

It gives him no advantage, mind--

For you and he have only dined,

And you remain when once it's down

A better man by half-a-crown.



RUD:

By half-a-crown?



BAR:

By half-a-crown.



BOTH:

Yes, two-and-six is half-a-crown.

Then let us be modestly merry,

And rejoice with a derry down derry.

For to laugh and to sing

No extravagance bring--

It's a joy economical, very!



BAR:

Although as you're of course aware

(I never tried to hide it)

I moisten my insipid fare

With water--which I can't abear--



RUD:

Nor I--I can't abide it.



BAR:

This pleasing fact our souls will cheer,

With fifty thousand pounds a year

We could indulge in table beer!



RUD:

Get out!



BAR:

We could--I've tried it!



RUD:

Yes, yes, of course you've tried it!



BOTH:

Oh, he who has an income clear

Of fifty thousand pounds a year--



BAR:

Can purchase all his fancy loves

Conspicuous hats--



RUD:

Two shilling gloves--



BAR. (doubtfully):

Two-shilling gloves?



RUD. (positively):

Two-shilling gloves--



BOTH:

Yes, think of that, two-shilling gloves!



BAR:

Cheap shoes and ties of gaudy hue,

And Waterbury watches, too--

And think that he could buy the lot

Were he a donkey--



RUD:

Which he's not!



BAR:

Oh no, he's not!



RUD:

Oh no, he's not!



BOTH (dancing):

That kind of donkey he is not!

Then let us be modestly merry,

And rejoice with a derry down derry.

For to laugh and to sing

Is a rational thing-

It's a joy economical, very!