When bonny Clive was twenty three

He took a dive from the balcony

Embarrasing his blushing bride

Who took her red face for a ride

To Blackpool and the pouring rain

She went out on the evening train

Came in with the morning tide

As another seaside suicide



It was summertime when Sally Clarke

Suffered from a broken heart

That left her down and out of touch

The patron saint of nothing much

No charity, no faith, no hope

She'd seen it on her favourite soap

Take fifty thousand million pills

And don't forget to pay the bills



Well I remember Mickey Doyle

He just shuffled off this mortal coil

With no message for "that special girl"

Just thank you and goodbye cruel world

Then for the sake of Auld Lang Syne

He put his head on the railway line

Looked up at the morning sun

And waited for the train to come



The TV's repossessed and so

I tune in to the radio

Where the DJ's play the same old songs

To whistle while you're signing on

Give me the beat boy and free my soul

Fill my pockets up with gold

I'll leave a message on the fridge

And drive my car off London Bridge



But London Bridge is falling down

There ain't no gold in Silvertown

So I'm cancelling my driving test

And walking back to happiness

Whoop bye oh yeah yeah!



Everytime a churchbell rings

Another angel gets its wings

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