Garden party held today

Invites call the debs to play

Social climbers polish ladders

Wayward sons again have fathers

Hello, Dad, hello, dad

Edgy eggs and queuing cumbers

Rudely wakened from their slumbers

Time has come again for slaughter

O on the lawns by still Cam waters

A slaughter, it's a slaughter



Champagne corks are firing at the sun again

Swooping swallows chased by violins again

Straafed by Strauss they sulk in crumbling eaves again

Oh God not again



Aperitifs consumed en masse

Display their owners on the grass

Couples loiter in the cloisters

social leeches quoting Chaucer



Doctor's son a parson's daughter

W where why not and should they oughta

Please don't lie upon the grass

Unless accompanied by a fellow

May I be so bold as to perhaps suggest Othello



Punting on the Cam is jolly fun they say

Beagling on the downs, oh please do come they say

Rugger is the tops, a game for men they say



I'm punting, I'm beagling, I'm wining, reclining, I'm rucking, I'm fucking

So welcome, it's a party



Angie chalks another blue

Mother smiles she did it too

Chitters chat and gossips lash

Posers pose, pressmen flash



Smiles polluted with false charm, locking on to Royal arms

Society columns now ensured, returns to mingle with the crowds

Oh what a crowd



Punting on the Cam, oh please do come they say

Beagling on the downs, oh please so come they say

Garden party held today they say

Oh please do come, oh please do come, they say