Everywhere I go someone's tryin' to be my girlfriend's best friend

I'm tryin' to pretend I'm relaxed but I'm playin' castanets with my knees

I try to be cool and give her space

But a guy's always there ready to jump right up and take my place

Everyone in this room seems to want to make a big fool out of me.



Everybody open you're mouth

Everybody just say Ahhhhh (Ah Ahh Ahh Ahhhhh)

Everything will be all right

If you play along



Everywhere I go there's someone in a trench coat staring at me

When I'm not at home I'm sure someone's rummaging through my trash

Whatever could they want from me

Is it just a part of a giant government conspiracy?

I gotta go see my doctor about this itchy pentagram-shaped rash.



Everybody open you're mouth

Everybody just say Ahhhhh (Ah Ahh Ahh Ahhhhh)

Everything will be all right

This won't hurt at all



Everybody get in line

Everybody turn and cough (cooouuuggghhh)

Everything will be all right

If you just lay off



Dictate a memo to myself

Try to find if I'm the only one in complete health

Consult contemporaries if there's some to see

There really isn't anyone who's in my league



Every night at Elaine's someone thinks they have to find beyond me

I try to take three deep breaths as I lock and arm my mini-van

Everyone says I'm looking great

But it's hard to stand-up let alone to try to concentrate

I wish that everyone that I knew hadn't sold out to the man



Everybody open you're mouth

Everybody just say Ahhhhh (Ah Ahh Ahh Ahhhhh)

Everything will be all right

This won't hurt at all



Everybody get in line

Everybody turn and cough (cooouuuggghhh)

Everything will be all right

If you just lay

Everything will be all right

If you just lay

Everything will be all right

If you just lay off