I'm not the one you dream about and

I'm not the one you can't live without

I'm not the one you want to see

I'm not the one who you want to be seen with

But when you're tired of all the jerks,

and you're tired of all the work

and you're tired of being hurt

You will long for the comfort of my golfshirt

I'm not the one who was an old time punk rocker

I was listening to Rush and trying to feather my hair back

when all that stuff went down

I'm not the one who was in a high school hardcore band

I sat in my room, scoring with Ms. Pac-Man

But when you're tired of all the jerks,

and you're tired of all the work

and you're tired of being hurt

You will long for the comfort of my golfshirt

Yeah!

No tats, no piercings

No hats, no grung beard baby, yeah

No tats, no piercings

No hats, no grung beard baby, yeah

Yeah, oh yeah