Hey kids, listen up if you want to be sick

'Cause your dinner looks like something from a Cronenburg flick

Think twice before you cuss and shout "damn damn damn"

Let me tell you a story about green eggs and ham.

There was a little yellow man called Sam-I-Am

That's me!

I don't like you, Sam-I-Am

Well, that's fine, that's cool, I understand

But do you like green eggs and ham?

I don't like green eggs and ham

No, I don't like 'em, Sam-I-Am

Would you like them here or there?

I wouldn't like them anywhere

'Cause I do not like them, Sam-I-Am

No, I don't like green eggs and ham

Would you like them in a house? Would you like them with a mouse?

Maybe you can't hear, you got something in your ear?

No

I'm gonna make this perfectly clear

I would not like them in a house, I would not like them with a mouse

I would not like them here or there, I wouldn't like them anywhere

'Cause I do not like them, Sam-I-Am,

No, not for me, green eggs and ham

Would you like them if I served them to you in a box

Candlelight, wine and a bottle of scotch?

Yeah, some soft lighting, soft music, maybe some Fred Penner on the

blaster...

Not in a box with a fox or a house with a mouse

Stop bugging me, you louse!

I would not eat them, no, man, I don't like your green eggs and ham

Well, would you could you in a car, eat them, don't deny who you are

He's gonna like them, you're gonna see

You might like them up in a tree

No, not in a tree, not in a car, would you let me be

No fox no box no house no mouse, not here, there, or anywhere

'Cause you guessed it, I don't like green eggs and ham

I don't like 'em, Sam-I-Am

A train, a train, a train, a train! Would you, could you in a train

Or up in an aeroplane?

How 'bout in the dark? We could drive and park

We could listen to the crickets and the pit bulls bark

No, not in a plane, not in the dark, not on a train, not in a car, not up a

tree

'Cause I don't like 'em, Sam, see,

Not in a schoolhouse or a shoebox with a house-mouse or a red fox

Not here, there, and everywhere

Didn't even like the Beatles with their long, long hair.

Hey! You lay off the Beatles, buddy! ...

Well, you don't like green eggs and ham

Oh, Mr. Perception, Sam-I-Am

Well I know that you'd like 'em if you ate 'em with a goat!

I would not could not with a goat

Well would you could you on a boat

I would not could not on a boat

And I will not ever with a goat

I'm not interested in stuffing face in the rain, on a train, I should

introduce you to my friend pain

Not in the dark, not up a tree,

Not on your fine china with Earl Grey Tea

No boxes, foxes, houses, mouses, husbands and wives - no spouses!

Why you trying to make me eat that?

I don't like it, I wouldn't serve it to my cat

I said already, I don't like them, Sam-I-Am,

I do not like green eggs ham!

Mr. Cheese! You just think you don't like them, so you say

And he's beginning to remind me of Doris Day

You say you don't like this and you don't like that

Well you're starting to sound like a finicky cat

Just try them, try them, and you may find you like nothing better than

Two greenish eggs over easy in the fry-pan

And to accompany this fine taste we have Martian ham - pork from space!

Now Sam, if you get out of my face

I'll try that and puke all over the place (good!)

Nothing makes a crowd disperse more quick

Than a great big puddle of sick!



Say...say...not bad, green eggs and ham

I believe I like them, Sam-I-Am

And I'd eat them in a boat, with a billy goat,

I'd eat them in the rain in the dark on a train

In a car, up a tree, they're pretty good, you see

So I'd eat them in a box with a fox

I'd eat them in a house and with the house-mouse

I'd eat them here, I'd eat them there

I'd eat them in my Fruit-of-the-Loom underwear

I think you're ok, Sam-I-Am

Well, I wouldn't let you down, you stubborn old man!

Hey, we should share them, eh, we got enough



..Are you kidding? I don't eat that stuff!