Announcer: Meet Eddie, 23 years old.

Fed up with life,

and the way things are going,

he decides to rob a liquor store

But on his way in,

he has a sudden change of heart.

And suddenly,

his conscience comes into play



Dr. Dre: Alright, stop.

Now before you walk in the door

Of this liquor store

And try to get money out the drawer

You'd better think of the consequences.



Eddie: Who are you?



Dr. Dre: I'm your motherfuckin' conscience.



Eminem: That nonsense.

Go in; grab for the money,

then run to one of your aunt's cribs.

And borrow her damn dress

And one of her blonde wigs.

Tell 'er you need a place to stay

You'll be safe for days

If you shave yer legs

With Rene's razor blades



Dr. Dre: Yeah, but if it all goes through

Like it's supposed to

The whole neighborhood knows you

And they'll expose you.

Think about before you walk in the door, first.

Look at the store clerk,

She's older then George Burns



Eminem: Fuck that.

Do that shit.

Shoot that bitch

Can you afford to blow this shit?

Are you that rich?

Why you give a fuck if she dies?

Are you that bitch?

You really think *she* gives a fuck

If you have kids?



Dr. Dre: Man, don't do it.

It's not worth it

To risk it.

Not over this shit.

Drop the bizket.

Don't even listen to Slim, yo.

He's bad for you.



Eminem: You know what, Dre?

I don't like your attitude.



Announcer: Meet Stan, 21 years old

After meeting a young girl at a rave party,

thing's start getting hot a heavy in an upstairs bedroom.

But, once again, his conscience comes into play.



Eminem: Now listen to me.

While yer kissin' her cheek

And smearin' her lipstick,

I'll slip this in her drink.

Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe



Dr. Dre: Yo, this girls only 15 years old.

You shouldn't take advantage of her,

It's not fair.



Eminem: Yo, look at her bush,

Does it got hair?



Stan: Uh-huh.



Eminem: Fuck this bitch,

Right here on the spot

Bare.

'Till she passes out

And she forgot how she got there.



Dr. Dre: Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie Kids.



Eminem: No, but I seen a porno with some Nubians.



Dr. Dre: Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?



Eminem: Man, fuck that

Get that shit balled off and bail.



Announcer: Meet Graddy, a 29 year-old construction worker.

After coming home from a hard day's work,

he walks in the door of his trailer park home

To find his wife in bed with another man.



Graddy: What the *fuck?*



Dr. Dre: Alright, calm down.

Relax

Start breathin'



Eminem: Fuck that shit.

You just caught this bitch cheatin'.

While you at work, she's with some dude

Tryin' ta get off?

*Fuck* slittin' her throat!

Cut this bitch's HEAD OFF!



Dr Dre: Wait,

Maybe there's an explanation for this shit.



Eminem: What?

She tripped,

Fell,

And landed on his dick?



Dr. Dre: Alright, Shady.

Maybe he's right, Graddy.

But think about the baby

Before you get all crazy.



Eminem: Okay, thought about it!

Still wanna stab her,

Grab her by the throat,

Get yer daughter,

And kidnap her?

That's what I did.

Be smart, don't be a retard.

You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped D-Barns?



Dr. Dre: What'd you say?



Eminem: What's wrong?

Didn't think I remember?



Dr. Dre: I'm 'a kill you, motherfucker!



Eminem: Ah-ah,

Temper, temper.

Mr. Dre?

Mr. N-W-A?

Mr. A-K,

Coming straight out a Compton

Y'all better make way?

How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?



Dr. Dre: Cuz he don't need to go the same rout that I went.

Been there, done that.

Aw, fuck it.

What am I sayin'?

Shoot 'um both, Graddy,

Where's yer gun at