So assuming this weekend there's a part of me that's thinkin' of coming up to join you
You know I sure wouldn't want to.. Ruin all your chances on your one night stand romances
Doing tequila shots, I always loved you but it was never enough

And while your licking salt off of each other
Know that I'll be wishing
Throwing some over my shoulder

Hoping for sores to form upon your lips
So the alcohol burns warm with every sip
Are you burning now?
I'll dial 911 emergency, to cool you, cool you down

And when you wake tomorrow morning with a hang over from hell
Don't bother calling me, there's no need for you to kiss and tell
Because tonight will be my night, I'm calling all my friends
The boys are going out tonight

The potion in our bottles it will be singing to me sleep
The world at the bottom, it's taunting me to be a creep

It says "Hey man, stand up for yourself"
"Hey man, I got a plan for you, it's working oh so well"

I picked up the pay phone and I held the zero down
Please operator, collect call to Allentown
The call came back rejected, but that operator was kind
Enough to talk to me and get me through to the middle of.. (The night)

Yeah, so tonight, will be my night
I'm calling all my friends, the boys are going out tonight.