Featuring Mr. Gerbik]

I would have been completely dead had it not been for the Shark Man.

Shark Man? *chuckling*

Judging from his appearance that's the most appropriate

name I could come up with for him.

I hate this kid.

This uhh... THING you're talking about.

It had the body of a shark and the arms and face of a man?

That's the chap.

Holy jumping jackfish!

Intro Two: Mr. Gerbik

*moaning, growling*

Yes, you have met the dangerous 208 year-old Uncle of Dr. Octagon.

I myself Mr. Gerbik. Half-shark, half-man, skin like alligator.

Carrying a dead walrus. Check it.

Verse One: Mr. Gerbik

With my white eyes, gray hair, face is sky-blue yellow

Sideburns react, my skin is colored lilac

My skin turn orange and green in the limousine

People think I'm mixed with shark, drinking gasoline

Underwater I breathe and let loose on my sleeve

Walking down Hollywood Boulevard with a credit card

Three alligators behind me, feel my skin is hard

Transvestites, and people watch space parasites

I left his head in the store, legs in the street

Body in Wilcox, with blood dripping off my feet

L.A.P.D. through gray clouds couldn't see me

I first turned rainbow, closed my eyes, watch my brain glow

People got scared and ranned away they think I'm weird

I was born this way, halfsharkalligator

Is he weird??

Chorus: Mr. Gerbik *singing*

half-shark-alligator-half-man

"Half man, half shark!"

half-shark-alligator-half-man

"Half man, half shark!"

Verse Two: Mr. Gerbik

My vomit fluctuates, covers your skull like protoplasm

Lightning bugs turn pink, on my tongue catches spasms

Green elephants, I battle streets with a zebra

My mechanism is more than Dionne's psychic voodoo

African beads, snakeskins, cold script through you my medical passes

You can't see, with greedy glasses

Carbon dioxide, pour right through em with gases

My description dinosaur

I was made half-shark-half-man, my skin is like razor blades

Seven-oh-seven, Mr. Gerbik

Verbally no one change my thoughts, animals fly from Philly

My appetites more big it's time for wildabeasts

Adjust my skulls, seven eyes switch hydraulic scribbles

and shrimps, mack gorillas like a pimp

Half-shark-alligator-man

Chorus 2X

Verse Three: Mr. Gerbik

In my real world, orangutangs dance for Thanksgiving

With skeleton bones and skunk tails, is my mission

Holding backward raps to all my power packs

Babboons clap, and girl horses wanna hit the sack

We're too bold for ocean water, monkeys sniffin ice

Contact Jupiter pools Martians bring my rice

I'm out flyin with purple capes in the twilight

Oooh ooh ooh, tonight's the night

My oxygen region's, New York to California

Half shark alligator half man!

Outro: PBS "Nature"

It takes a supreme feat of strength to swim through

the water plows while dragging two hundred and

fifty pounds on your back... the crocodile's teeth

are designed to seize and hold, not to cut through

skin. During all the hours the somber lay in the water,

but are unable to penetrate the deer's tough hide.

The crocodiles make a few token objections; but in the

end, give up the struggle