I pulled into memphis, i could not slow down

My brakes were gone, i wrecked the car...fire on the ground

Then my car exploded and the flames licked my chin

And my life flashed before my eyes like an x-rated film

Like a poison arrow my soul shot through the sky

Landed there at heaven's gate, much to my surprise

And an angel with a halo walked up and said, "hey, dude!

Welcome to heaven...we've got this glass of milk for you."

(chorus)

I said, "hey st. peter, won't you open up your gate...

I hear the devil calling, now please don't make me late.

He's got loud guitars, alcohol, cheap jamaican whores...

I don't want to stay in heaven no more."



Well, satan came a-running, said, "hey, that boy is mine!"

He had a john hiatt t-shirt and trouble in his eye

Then the devil on cloud 7 and st. peter on cloud 4

Played a hand of poker, and the winner gets my soul



Chorus



Well the last thing i remember, satan held two jacks

And i woke up in the back of a memphis ambulance

And i do not know for certain which cards st. peter held

So i'm breaking all ten commandments to make sure i go to hell



Chorus