I was always a lazy one, a Southern Californian

But I've some kinfolk on the Mason-Dixon line

So this summer just for fun hopped in my Delorian

And headed for my uncle's farm for a short time

I thought that I would be hunting and fishing

I misunderstood him somehow

So far there's nothing but chores here to mention

I didn't mind feeding the sows



Chorus:

How do you milk a cow? (2x)

I wasn't in FFA

This cow must think I'm crazy up under it this way

I'm sitting here a-pulling but there ain't nothing coming out

Oh-me-i-ee-i-o

How do you milk a cow?



I love it here in Tennesse

But these farmers all make fun of me

Can't haul much hay in a tiny sports car

So I got myself a four wheel drive Learned to spotlight deer at night

And I've got shearing sheep right down to an art

One things for sure I hate shoveling manure

It gets all over my overalls

Them horses need shoeing I hear Bessy mooing

so I thought maybe I'd ask you all



Chorus:

How do you milk a cow? (2x)

I think its safe to say a man could get arrested for this in L.A.

This heifer must be empty cause she ain't putting out

Oh-me-i-ee-i-o

How do you milk a cow?



This song is absolutely an UDDER disaster

I hope I don't get mad cow disease



How do you milk a cow?

I no longer care I'm getting sick and tired of smelling DAIRY AIR

I'm heading back to Cali and I'm turning in my plow

Oh-me-i-ee-i-o

How do you milk a cow?