Sit around all day remote control glued to my hand

Just waiting for a visit from Ed McMahon

Oppourtunity is knockin but I can't open the door

Cause I'm shit faced drunk passed out on the kitchen floor

I'm a bum

Wating for my fortune to fall into my lap

but if I gotta work for it I'd rather take a nap

I can eat, I can sleep, I can play nintendo

but if you paid me to go to work, I still wouldn't go

I'm a bum

I'm a bum

sit around all day

and I get nothin' done

I'm a bum

I'm a bum

that's right

I'm a bum

The boob tube replaced the dog

as man's best friend

doesn't shit on the floor

always has an ear to lend

nacho supreme, a pizza

ten hours of tv

is all my life will ever be

if i could pick lotto numbers

like i pick my nose

I'd escape the life of bein' an average Joe

Til' then I'll just sit around all day

remote control in hand

just waiting for a visit from Ed McMahon