(Gretchen Phillips)



When I was a young girl like normal girls do

I looked to a woman's love to help get me through

I never needed any more than a feminine touch

I hated the thought of kissing a man it really was too much



I did not drink, I did not smoke I did not say "goddamn"

I was polite I was sensitive before I loved a man

My family, they were proud of me were proud of what I am

But then along came Lester and my tell of woe began



(Chorus)

I spent my last ten dollars on birth control and beer

My life was so much simpler when I was sober and queer

But the love of a strong hairy man has turned my head I fear

And made me spend my last ten bucks on birth control and beer



It was June 1983 when Mary Lou and I did part

She said she loved another dyke my god, it broke my heart

I was bitter and disillusioned to lose another girlfriend

Lester came to work at Papa's store and decided to ease on in



Before my last heartbreak nothing made me more sick

Than a hairy-chested, cheap double-breasted suited man with a hard dick

I guess that I was courios I guess that I was young

I guess it was that rum and coke I guess that I was dumb



(Chorus)



For of course, for a woman to love a man she must also love to booze

If a woman don't drink beside her man then she will surely lose him

As I sit in this hetero honky-tonk and reflect upon my past

I think about those girlfriends and why they didn't last



For there's certain thrills that lesbian love simply cannot supply

Like paying for abortions from sperm gone awry

And so I say to you my friends without this man I'd die

So listen to my tell of woe and hang your head and cry



(Chorus)