IF I LIVE TO BE ONE HUNDRED



WILL YOU LOVE ME JUST THE SAME



EVEN IF I CAN'T REMEMBER



WHO YOU ARE OR KNOW YOUR NAME







IF I LIVE TO BE ONE HUNDRED



I WON'T NEED A STEADY JOB



JUST A NURSE WHO FEEDS ME TAPIOCA



WON'T LET ME EAT CORN ON THE COB







OH, LOOK AT ME - FEELING OLDER THAN HISTORY



AND IT'S A CONTEMPLATING MYSTERY



WHY I'M NOT DEAD AND BURIED







IF I LIVE TO BE ONE HUNDRED



WILL I HAVE TEETH TO HOLD YOUR KISS



IF I CAN STILL PLAY MY PIANO



I'LL SING YOU A SONG JUST LIKE THIS







IF I LIVE TO BE ONE HUNDRED



WILLARD SCOTT WILL SHOW MY PICTURE ON TV



RIGHT NEXT TO A JAR OF SMUCKERS



A WORD THAT NOTHING RHYTHMS WITH







OH, LOOK AT ME - SUCH A FIGURE OF HUMANITY



A HERO ALL THE WORLD JUST LOVES TO SEE



THIS LINE I CAN'T REMEMBER







IF I LIVE TO BE ONE HUNDRED



WON'T NEED VIAGRA ANYMORE



WON'T BE EATING BUFFALO WINGS



OR KNOW MY WAY BACK FROM THE STORE







AND IF I LIVE TO BE A HERO



I'LL BE ONE HUNDRED YEARS, GALORE



CELEBRATING ALL THE GOOD TIMES



I CAN'T REMEMBER ANYMORE