If I were fire, I'd burn the world;

If I were wind, I'd pester it;

If I were water, I'd sink it;

If I were God, I'd plunge it;



If I were the Pope, I'd be gay,

'cause I'd torment all the Christians;

if I were emperor, I'd be good:

'cause everybody's heads I would cut down.



If I were fire, If I were fire

If I were fire, If I were fire



If I were death, I'd go to my father;

If I were life, I'd flee him:

I'd do the same with my mother.



If I were myself, as I am and was,

I'd take the young and beautiful gals:

The crippled and old I'd leave to others.



If I were fire, If I were fire

If I were fire, If I were fire