[1st verse:]

There's no mistake that I can act

I'm talented and that's a fact

I know, because my mother told me so

She kept a house for actor folks

And listened to their funny jokes

So now I guess my mother ought to know

But managers are awful dense

It seems to me they have no sense

I know my darling mother wouldn't lie

She thinks I'm better than the best

But managers think I'm a pest

And all they say is, "Go somewhere and die"



[chorus:]

If the managers only thought the same as mother

You bet I'd show them all a thing or three

They'd have starred me in "The Thief"

For it's mother's firm belief

Margaret Illington could never steal like me

If the Shuberts only took a tip from mother

I'd be starring like a star was never starred

Leslie Carter and that bunch

Would be at Childs serving lunch

If the managers only thought the same as ma



[2nd verse:]

My mother goes to all the shows

She knows what ev'ry woman knows

She knows Maude Adams knows a thing or two

But when she saw her in that play

She said to me that very day

"My child, she doesn't know as much as you"

So I got busy with my pen

And wrote to Charlie Frohman then

I asked him if he wouldn't star me quick

His answer nearly knocked me dead

For in his letter Charlie said

"I didn't even know that you were sick"



[2nd chorus:]

If the managers only thought the same as mother

I'd act like Sarah Bernhardt never did

Harry Miller would forget

Margret Anglin you bet

He would want me as his real supporting kid

If Frohman only took a tip from mother

He would label me as Frohman's only star

Missus Fiske would take a drop

To some Broadway candy shop

If the managers only thought the same as ma