THE I.P.D.

by Faith Petrick



I'll sing you all a song about a wondrous new device

The nation's latest contraceptive plan

That funny little object they call the IUD

Has recently been changed to fit a man



CHO: It's the IPD, the IPD

It may not feel too good to you but it's not hurting me

So every time the pain begins to fill your eyes with tears

Remember I put up with it for years



They tested it on whales and they tried it out on mice

They used it in the poorer parts of town

It's the cleverest invention since the automatic lift

It's guaranteed to never let you down (CHO)



It was proven to be safe for the average human male

Though testing showed some minor side effects

There were two died of infection and six were sterilized

But only ten percent were too depressed (CHO: By the...)



But you know some people are never satisfied

So scientists are working once again

They've got something even better than the good old IPD

It's called the morning after pill for men



It's the pill, it's better than the IPD

It may not be too safe but we'll just have to wait and see

So put away your worries and put away your fears

Remember I put up with it for years



It's the IPD, . . .



@feminist @medicine

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