It all began with the bright light

The bright light and the noise

The chaos of the senses and the scream of desire



Touching and being touched

A million loose ends to tie up

Ticking of the clock and the cradle rock



The colours stand still

And then they move around

Comin' in and out of focus upside down



Empty winter trees

How space feels

Love of the soft ... the flowers and the sky



One fine day

The chaos subsides

Bleeds into awareness

And a lifetime of surprise



The beauty of your mothers eyes

The pain when you fall

You drink it in and marvel at it all

But you never really figure it out



You get used to it



The babble of the family

And the dumb TV

Roar of the traffic and the thunder of jets



Chemicals in the water

Drugs in the food

The heat of the kitchen and the beat of the system



The attitude of authority

The laws and the rules

Hit me square in the face, first morning at school



The heroes and the zeroes

The first love of my life

When to kiss and to kick and to keep your head down

When they're choosing the sides



I was never any good at it

I was terrified most of the time

I never got over it



I got used to it



Alone in the city at seventeen

With the hollow and the lonely

The drowning and the drowned

I was made to feel worthless

The wretched and the mean

Beat me up like a weapon I can't run away from or find a way round



Holdin' on, holdin' on



The greed and the missiles

Exploding somewhere every day

Hideous dark secrets under the sea and in holes in the ground

-acap