And I'll tell you while I'm able

Or I'll smash your skull if you're not

Drink enough Black label

It's a hard mans drink

And though the bottles broken

Put your money on the table

Strain the glass through your teeth

So we grew up mean lean

Kings of the street scene

Without a mothers guiding hand

To keep us clean

Down your rum

We'll take life as it comes

And all you blue rinse critics

Lick our literary bums

I drank my first pure malt

Before I was three

I smoked a pack of Dutch cigarettes

My pappy left for me

And I romanced a little lass

Who was twelve years my elder

At the age of six I held her

That year I also bed her

So before I was seven

My first child was born

I told a pack of filthy lies

As a politician

I heard my own confession

As an act of contrition

I spent ten years as a Trappist monk

In a village in Tibet

And I walked up Everest naked

Just to win a bet

Well I cut off my leg

To win a one legged race

And when I won, I stitched it

on my little sister's stomach

I've fought Mohammed Ali

I've seduced Mata Hari

I've even worn a sari

When I impersonated Ghandi

And I dare any man here

To call me a liar

(Liar!)

But I swear I've seen Ezekial

I swear I've seen Isiah

Toasting marshmellows

In Beelzebub's fire

And we're mad mad mad

Dangerous to know

We never give a tinkers cuss

About the seeds we sow

And we stay up late

And never be forlorn

And when the morning comes around

We'll kiss the crack of dawn

We took the whacks from Kerouac's

And dusty Dostoyevsky's

And when all was said and done

Booze was all I had left me-acap