the answer came

like a shot in the back

while you were running from your lesson

which might explain

why years later all you could remember

was the terror of the question

plus, you weren't listening

you were stockpiling canned goods

making a bomb shelter of our basement

and i can't believe you let the moral go by

while you were soaking in the product placement



where was your conscience?

where was your consciousness?

and where did you put all those letters

that you wrote to yourself

but could not address?



i'm a good kisser

and you're a fast learner

and that kinda thing could float us

for a pretty long time

then one day you'd realize

you've memorized my phone number

and you'll call it and find it's a disconnected line

cuz i got tossed out the window of love's el camino

and i shattered into a shower of sparks on the curb

you were smoking me

weren't you?

between your yellow fingers

you just inhaled and exhaled without saying a word



where was your conscience?

where was your consciousness?

and where did you put all those letters

that you wrote to yourself

but could not address?



there's a smorgasbord of unspoken poisons

a whole childhood of potions

that are all bottled up

and so one by one i am dusting off labels

i am uncorking bottles and filling up cups

so go ahead and have a taste of your own medicine

and i'll have a taste of mine

but first let's toast to the lists

that we hold in our fists

of the things that we promise to do

differently next time



cuz the answer came like a shot in the back

while you were running from your lesson

which might explain

why years later all you could remember

was the terror of the question

plus i'm not listening to you anymore

my head is too sore and my heart's perforated

and i'm mired in the marrow of my (well... ain't that) funny bone

learning how to be alone and devastated

where was my conscience?

where was my consciousness?

and what do i do with all these letters

that i wrote to myself

but cannot address