I used to watch "Highway Patrol"

Whittlin' with my knife

But the thought never struck me

I'd be black and white for life

I was raised on law and order

In a community of strife

Became a restless boarder

And I never took a wife



I went lookin' for Khadafy

Aboard Air Force One

But I never did find him

And the C.I.A. said "Son,

You'll never be a hero

Your flyin' days are done

It's time for you to go home now

Stop sniffin' that smokin' gun"



I was travellin' with my family

In the Mideast late one night

In the hotel all was quiet

The kids were out like little lights

Then the street was filled with jeeps

There was an explosion to the right

They chanted "Death to America"

I was feelin' like a fight



So I ran downstairs

And out into the street

Someone kicked me in the belly

Someone else kissed my feet

I was Rambo in the disco

I was shootin' to the beat

When they burned me in effigy

My vacation was complete