Please note that the russian stuff in the song was left out here since i don't have that character set handy.



She said, "it's not drug abuse,

They're diet pills," was her excuse

Nobody wants a woman with a big caboose."

(you must forgive your mom)

She cleaned the house in half an hour

Mildew didn't have a chance in the shower

My mom was always higher than the ol' sears tower

(responsibility that sickens your heart)

My mom was no fat broad



She tied the tubing for a bulging vein

Hit that mainer then she sped away

Like the white tornado of avenue a

(your mother was very unhappy)

My mom was no fat broad

Oompah doompah doompah doompadee doo

Fear of bulbous rollin round lookin like augustus gloop

It's the runway model vogue

That made my momma swallow you

Momma's little helpers got her mind crazy singin' the blues



She kept her stash on top of the fridge

I tried to flush it down the toilet one time

I was six

I still remember the fit that she pitched

My mom was not fat...she was nuts.



They took the gurney down the stairs and the policeman said

That i could ride with him in his front seat

He said, "my little man, your mom is at peace."



My mom was no fat broad


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