As I did walk by Hampstead Fair

I came upon Mother Goose -- so I turned her loose --

she was screaming.

And a foreign student said to me --

was it really true there are elephants and lions too

in Piccadilly Circus?



Walked down by the bathing pond

to try and catch some sun.

Saw at least a hundred schoolgirls sobbing

into hankerchiefs as one.

I don't believe they knew

I was a schoolboy.



And a bearded lady said to me --

if you start your raving and your misbehaving --

you'll be sorry.

Then the chicken-fancier came to play --

with his long red beard (and his sister's weird:

she drives a lorry).



Laughed down by the putting green --

I popped `em in their holes.

Four and twenty labourers were labouring --

digging up their gold.

I don't believe they knew

that I was Long John Silver.



Saw Johnny Scarecrow make his rounds

in his jet-black mac (which he won't give back) --

stole it from a snow man.