[ VERSE 1 ]

The President woke and he called the Pope

The Pope climbed to heaven on a golden rope

P.S. the Lord raised Michaelangelo from the dead

So he can make a fresh painting of my head

Then I hung out with a king and a queen

And the queen put me down with her polo team

The way I scored points all around the clock

I had her daughter, the princess ridin my jock

I knocked the freak off like a crazy retard

Then I took a little trip into a deck of cards

The diamond jack joker and the ace of spades

Was amazed at greater Cut Creator on the fade

Then I played cards with the queen of clubs

The queen of hearts with me cold fell in love

As for the queen of diamonds, she don't like men

Because you know that a diamond is a girl's best friend

The double-trouble spade was named the deuce

And the joker acted stupid, so we gave him the news

There was 52 cards, and I met everyone

That story is over, but my rhyme ain't done



[ VERSE 2 ]

Then I took a trip to the center of the earth

I was kinda scared, so E-Love went first

I met these funny little people, they called em skeezers

So I held on to my wallet like Ebeneezer

Tight leather pants that'll make you grunt

Two nice soft things right up front

The center of the earth ain't got no crime

Just people bodyrockin to the L.L. rhyme

If you're kinda confused to what a skeezer is

It's just a girl who's on my jock cause I'm in showbiz

There was a whole lotta skeezers, I dogged everyone

That story is over, but my rhyme ain't done



[ VERSE 3 ]

Woke up late one afternoon

Realized I was in the world of cartoons

He-Man told me he'd beat me up

Because he thought that I looked like Donald Duck

Then I hung out with