Well, I stare at myself in the mirror

When I wake up every morn

And I marvel at how great I've been

Since the day that I was born



I've made so many albums

I've run out of things to name 'em

My fans all want to be like me

And really, who can blame 'em



Teenage groupies all surround me

I guess I know why

No one else can match my charm

Why do they even try



All the girls in college

Turned me down for other fellas

But I know why, it seems to me

They're just insanely jealous

Who wouldn't be



Some people call it self-indulgence

But they just don't understand

That it's hard to be too humble

When you know that you're so grand



And I'm not trying to say I'm perfect

I just want you to see

That I've never met a person

Who's as wonderful as me



Now, I'm not arrogant or haughty

And I'm certainly not conceited

But anyone trying to match my wits

Is very soon defeated



I'm a marvellous human being

I'm just one big hunk of man

Sometimes I have to marvel

At how very great I am



Some people call it self-indulgence

But they just don't understand

That it's hard to be too humble

When you know that you're so grand



And I'm not trying to say I'm perfect

I just want you to see

That I've never met a person

Who's as marvellous, spectacular

Fantastic and terrific

And so very great and wonderful as me