I remember years ago a place I loved to go

Palm trees, sunshine beaches and never any snow

Then bastards came in numbers to infiltrate the place

Crime and murder rates have soared in Florida's disgrace

Now they've ruined Miami, they've let it go to piss

Now they've ruined Miami, there's nothing left to miss

Now they've ruined Miami, and my vacation plans

Guess I'II have to stay at home until they fix it. man!

Now they've got new gun laws, and everybody's armed

They say it's their protection, no need to be alarmed

I hate to be sarcastic but I wear the shoe that fits

Miami is a city that has all but gone to shit

I really wish I didn't have to write sarcastic songs

But modern day society has got to right these wrongs

Old men and women now have guns and they can't even drive

They can't aim, and they can't shoot and we cannot survive

Cemeteries filling up, they'll have to make some room

People wasting people, I sense impending doom

So if you love Miami, you'll get what you deserve

Better pack a bullet proof vest, and pills to soothe your nerves