after nine years in the army

they took away his brain

they tattooed "defect" on his brow

and signed him up again



he killed ten thousand germans

a hundred japanese

a family of hindus

and a lot of portugese

nine plan failed



I could never see the point

of showing them you're boss

when they drag you through the city streets

and naiI you to a cross



they took him to the office

they strapped him to the bed

they fastened lots of pretty wires

securely to his head

they wheeled him down the corridor

upon a metal trolley

now he wears big spectacles

and he sings like Buddy Holly

nine plan failed



I could never see the point

of showing them you're boss

when they drag you through the city streets

and nail you to a cross



the world declared its armistice

and took away his guns

and now he satisfies himself

on piss-weak tea and buns

on piss-weak tea and buns

oh oh

at the disco

Rome is very pretty

and Rome is very grand

but the Pope lost his four fingers

when they gave this boy his hand to kiss

when they gave this boy his hand to kiss

it wasn't funny no



he wasn't very good at school

his highest grade was C

but he believed the managers

when they said:-

"you leave it all to me"

they gave him suits from Saville Row

the quality so fine

so now he sits in the desert wastes

just waiting for a sign

nine plan failed