Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm

(E-I, E-I, O)

And on this farm he had a dyslexic cow

(E-I, E-I, O)

With an "oom-oom" here and an "oom-oom" there

Here an "oom", there an "oom"

Everywhere an "oom-oom"

Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm

(E-I, E-I, O)



And on this farm he had a nicotine addicted rooster

(E-I, E-I, O)

With a "cough, hack, puke, spit" here and a "cough, hack, puke, spit" there

Here a "cough, hack", there a "puke, spit"

Everywhere a "cough, hack, puke, spit"

Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm

(E-I, E-I, O)





And on this farm he had a substance abusing bull

(E-I, E-I, O)

With a "snort-snort" here and a "snort-snort" there

Here a "snort", there a "snort"

Everywhere a "snort-snort"

Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm

(E-I, E-I, O)





And on this farm he had a cat with multiple personality disorder

(E-I, E-I, O)

With a "meow-woof" here and an "oink-moo" there

Here a "squawk", there a "grunt"

Everywhere a "cluck-baa"

Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm

(E-I, E-I, O)





And on this farm he had a flatulent bird

(E-I, E-I, O)

With a "tweet, poot" here and an "tweet, poot" there

Here a "tweet", there a "poot"

Everywhere a "tweet, poot"

Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm

(E-I, E-I, O)





And on this farm he had a nymphomaniac pig

(E-I, E-I, O)

With a "boink-boink" here and an "boink-boink" there

Here a "boink", there a "boink"

Everywhere a "boink-boink"

Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm

(E-I, E-I, O)





And on this farm he had a chicken with a crappy attitude

(E-I, E-I, O)

With a "Cluck you here" and a "Cluck you there"

Here a "Cluck", there a "you"