We were drunk fools in Paris, stumbling on the sidewalk

that runs along the Seine, and on the Cathedral

all the gargoyles watched us laughing,

"Two stupid Americans..."



We were at the mercy of this passionate waiter

who pulled the corks at the Osterasis Cafe

he kept serving us wine we hadn't ordered

then he blamed us for the weather,

it was cold and rainy -

but we raised a glass up to him anyway



We did Paris in a day,

what would Marie Antionette say?

We made a vow on the Champs Elysees

that nothing would come between us



The Mona Lisa, I said, "She smiles just like she knows me"

you said, "She's a woman with nothing to lose -

She gathers a crowd around her, then she

flirts with perfect strangers, but she'll

never take a lover in the Louvre -

she will never take a lover in the Louvre..."



We did Paris in a Day

what would Quasimodo say?

Would he stand on top of Notre Dame

and throw down tourists to us?

a thousand stairs up the Pompadou

we were gasping at the view

if we tried for Jim Morrison's gravesite too

we'd probably have to find a tour bus

and man, how do we find a tour bus

without finding another day



We took the M across the Seine

and headed for the Eiffel tower

and there the street merchants

called us out by name

"Cool shades here for the Americans"

They said in their finest hipster English

and then they told us, "Every Yankee looks the same"

I said, "Is it the camera case, or our American grace?"

They said,

"You all just look the same..."



We lit a candle for a ghost in the Notre Dame Cathedral

We got lost on the Left Bank looking for a place in which to stay

when we told the wa