Have you ever seen an idealist with gray hairs on his head?

Or successful men who keep in touch with unsuccessful friends?

You only think you did

And I could've sworn I saw it too

But as it turns out

It was just a clever ad for cigarettes



Cause if it isn't making dollars

Then it isn't making sense

If you aren't a moving unit

Then you're not worth the expense

If you really want to make it

You had best remember this:

If it isn't penetration

Then it isn't worth a kiss



And we're so sorry sir, but you did not quite make the cut this time

And we'd appreciate it if you cleared your stuff all out by five

Don't take it personal

Everyone knows you did your best

If it makes it easier you should look at it from our perspective end



Cause if it isn't making dollars

Then it isn't making sense

If you aren't a moving unit

Then you're not worth the expense

If you really want to make it

You had best remember this:

If it isn't penetration

Then it isn't worth a kiss